It’s Your Life!
This is an Anti-Advice column. No matter how sage the counsel, advice makes
the presumption that you don’t already know what to do, and that what I
think (or any so-called expert) has more value than what you think. I have
strong opinions based on experience and training, but it’s just what’s true
for me.
I believe that most of the pain in life comes from trying to be other than
you are and veering away from your core truth. My philosophy is to trust
your self. Whatever you do, whatever decision you make, it’s fine. Evaluate
and learn from your mistakes. Mistakes deserve correction not punishment.
They are part of the way we grow and find out who we are. Love and
acceptance contribute to growth. Judgment and condemnation serve no purpose.
Use my opinion to form yours. Compare it to what you already know and see
what you learn. Does it confirm or shake up what you believe? Does it feel
distressing or energizing or irrelevant? What is true for you?
Question Your Shoulds
“Should” is a dirty word. They should probably spell it “shud” so it has
four letters. We almost always use it to convey outside rules that someone
else has determined are good for us. I should get more exercise. I should
work harder. I should be other than the way I am. Bah!
What if they’re wrong?
What if the way you are is perfect. You are precisely
where you should be in this moment to live your life and fulfill your
purpose. I’m not saying you can’t grow and change and expand your horizons.
I’m suggesting that you get rid of the pain and guilt that surround your
choice. You are enough exactly as you are. You don’t need to be other. The
only reason to change is because you want to, not because you should.
Desire is the only motivating force that’s really effective. It pulls you
toward something attractive rather than trying to avoid something painful. I
want to do this. I long to spread my wings and realize my potential.
A desire is yours. It’s internal. It comes from you. A should comes from
outside. It’s an imposition.
Whose desire is really behind the “shoulds” that float through your psyche?
Is it yours? What do you really want? How can you transform a “should” into
a compelling desire?
About the Author:
Liz Sumner, works with people who feel trapped in a job that sucks their soul. Coaching with Liz helps them feel powerful, energized, and free. Who is in charge of your life? For more information, visit findyourwaycoaching.com.
*****************************
>> more articles *****************************
leave your feedback
more articles
back to homepage
submit your article
|
